Sudden Unexplained Near Death Experience

Shock! Dismay! Loss! But only until I returned to my senses and put the event into perspective.  It wasn't a person or a home or a beloved pet.  It was only a thing . . . but my iPhone thing.  Dead.  Oh, I beseeched it, if only you will light your screen when I push the home button.  I will never drop you or let you get dirty or wet.  (I have never done any of those!)  I will carry you only in the softest case and give you more rest time.  (I am guilty of neglecting such care as that.) 

After attempting CPR with three different chargers, I continued to encourage and cajole, even descending to desperate baby talk.  Pretty please, turn on for mommy. 

Finally, I could no longer face its demise alone.  I called Apple technical support, on my house phone, of course.  (See, there is still a need for land lines.)  Gregg, be my hero and tell me how to revive my iPhone, quickly and painlessly, no reset nor restore, just give me the magical incantation.  (This is the point where you should expect the worst, a denouement to bring tears to even the most hardened technophobe.) 

Fanfare rolling, trumpets blaring, sun bursting through the clouds, the silver apple symbol breathed onto the screen.  Oh joy, rebirth, triumph!  It was back in all its glory to live another day (and many more, I hope but was not promised by Gregg).  I was so ecstatic that I scarcely heard the male voice murmuring something about powering off at least once a week, shutting off apps that want to run in the background, blah, blah, blah.  IPhone, we're back! 

(There is no photo to accompany this post because even though I can take a photo of me, my iPhone cannot take a photo of itself.  I'm working on that one.  Hey, Gregg!)